Be a fountain of positivity.12, Mar, 2015, by Seema Bhatnagar
Being a positive person is an essence of a good human being. This is not a quote or wisdom from any scripture or holy book, but this is something that each one of us can experience in our daily life. It is that single quality which sets you apart from others. In this world where people are leading stressful and depressed life, this is a quality which promises a light in the darkness of negativity.
Are you positive or a negative person?
In the deluge of situations and circumstances of daily life it is so difficult to decide about personal level of positivity and negativity. For many, it is not even clear what exactly means being positive or negative because everyone in personal capacity thinks of self as a positive person, but that personal perception might not actually be true. So, it is important to get the right definition in place before you even think of classifying yourself as a positive or a negative person.
Before you even read further, quickly check, what is your own definition of being a positive person. It might be an eyeopener for you.
Here goes my own definition of a positive and negative person:-
One who constantly thinks of failures and struggles with self to justify actions of hurting or causing pain to others or constantly thinking of securing self from traps set by others or feels threatened by some future events is fit to be called as a negative person.
One who trusts others for what they are and work with the best of personal abilities without feeling any threat or fear from others is a positive person. Flexibility in thinking, thoughtful behaviours, and creating space for others in life is all about being a positive person.
Do you see, mere a definition of a positive person makes you feel warm and brings openness. It feels like a sunshine where one can breathe and bloom. While on the other hand, definition of a negative person makes you feel suffocated and arrested.
It is not just that positive individuals allow others to bloom in their presence and help others to be honest and open about personal shortcomings, but they also show high level of acceptance of others irrespective of flaws or faults.
How a positive person thinks?
A positive person feels amiable and respectful towards others. S/he strongly believes that there is no point comparing self with others because every individual has personal strengths and weaknesses and there is no point criticizing others unless it is really required. Even if at all any criticism is required, it has to be mild, polite and very thoughtful.
A positive person never feels any dearth of opportunities, even a complicated or hopeless situation brings a bundle of opportunities for such an individual.
Why it is difficult to be a positive person?
Becoming a positive person or sustaining positivity is a sheer hard task. Because of personal ego and selfish nature of humans, positivity is hard to practice in life.
Do you know, more than ever the number of people slipping into depression or mental illnesses has soared to a mind boggling figure, this is only because of a negative world view they carry about themselves. For them, there is a dead end to life and everyone is their enemy. Living with a constant fear and feeling insecure or uncertain about external situations makes them to develop a completely negative view of life.
Even after taking costly treatments it is hard for them to recover and in some cases people slip into a state of no return. Quoting an incident here, last year, I came across an interesting case of a school student, who came for life coaching; he was deeply depressed and had a view that there is no point doing anything in life as I would anyway die one day. He was not ready to study or take any challenge in life simply for a reason that everything is meaningless. No, this is not a highly evolved spiritual though but was a lack of personal strength of facing situations in life. For him, there was a dead end to life, that too at the age of only 18. When he came to me, he was on anti-depressants and recovering from two years of severe depression. After two three sittings I realized that his home environment was full of bitterness, his father was a negative personality and was constantly hurting him for his mistakes and failures. How can a depressed person recover in such a negative environment?
Hindu school of thought.
Positivity is fundamentally spirituality in its refined form. Before you apply your own definition of spirituality, let me tell you, spirituality is not at all about seeking liberation and wearing orange robes, sitting on Himalayas - it is a state of mind where you remain unaffected in tough and rough situations of life.
Chapter 5, verse 19 of Bhagavad Gita, says, “Those whose minds are situated in equanimity, they conquer this world in this very life.”. The deep meaning conveys that remaining unaffected by happy and sad situations of life is sign of an evolved human being.
According to Hindu school of thought, it is said, that people who are really positive are “sattvik” by nature which means they possess qualities of selflessness, self- discipline, and thoughtfulness towards others. The fundamental reason of this sattvik nature is their good deeds done in past lives and they took required efforts to work upon their negative qualities in their previous births because of which they are leading a positive life in this birth. Even if somebody is taking efforts to become positive in this birth, it is because of the presence of required wisdom from past lives to understand the value of positivity. You may reject this view altogether if you are an atheist and skeptic and simply understand that being a positive person in life is a long standing habit.
Lord Rama is worshipped as a hero of Indian mythology, epitomizing a positive and an equanimous personality. In every possible role he played in life, as a son, husband, brother or a master, he demonstrated all the positive qualities one must have as a human being.
To get your fundamentals right, a positive person is not somebody who thinks positive about unrealistic and irrational things to happen but a person who is balanced and equanimous in life. No disturbance, lust or greed can deviate a positive person from the path of positivity and personal integrity.
How I travelled?
Personally, as I mentioned in my post “How to handle negative people?”, I was also a negative person, but not to the extent of depressed individual. To come on the path of positivity, I took all possible measures and created a positive and nurturing environment around me. It was not as easy as it really sounds. Encountering each and every negative thought and replacing it with a more powerful thought could not have been possible without divine help. For each and every aspect of life I gave 360 degree shift to my perspective. Gave myself every possible freedom to do whatever I wanted to do and criticized wherever it was needed, read n number of self-help books, ancient Hindu texts and spiritual books or whatever I could catch hold of on net, good blogs or books. Most significantly, I practiced in my life what I read or gained from books or heard from evolved beings.
As one of the quotes from Bhagavad Gita (an Indian scripture) says “There is nothing lost or wasted in this life.".
I realized very early on my journey that I cannot control all external parameters, people, situations and circumstances so I must learn how to make compromises and where to make hard choices and how to make myself ready to bear the consequences. This single thought filled me with courage and strength to take hard decisions and helped me reaching to the pinnacle of positivity.
Now as a positive person, I do not find any threat from people and situations so easily and if at all there is any I find myself strong enough to face it. There is no single book or person that I can particularly quote for my development; it is a combined effect of my readings and gradual progress on path of spirituality.
The end result of my becoming positive is that I have turned truly spiritual after starting my journey as a hard core skeptic and atheist. Though I have not experienced any enlightenment or something like that so far but I truly experience positivity and fearlessness in my day to day life. I guess, there is nothing special about me, the daily detoxification of negative thoughts can make anybody spiritual and positive.
Walking on the path of positivity would not have been possible without grace of God and my Guru. It is said in spiritual world, that your God and your Guru walk 10 steps to reach you if you walk 2 steps towards them.
My experience says that a truly positive person would surely turn into a spiritual person because it is a natural course of progression and there is definitely no doubt about it.
How can you become a positive person?
By our core nature, we all are positive and that is a reason why we feel such a strong pull towards positivity. Due to constant exposure to negative surroundings our positivity loses its sheen. Here, the good example would be of a child, initially as a toddler, a child is happy and positive, always willing to explore surroundings but when s/he observes parents and siblings how they are behaving with the world, s/he also quickly learns those clever and guileful acts to survive in this world.
Living with negativity is no less than self-torturing, it is like you are slowly poisoning your faculties which otherwise could serve you in living with the best of potential. If you are seriously tired of living with negativity and want to explore the new world of positivity which promises inner strength and 24 hours of joyfulness then why not give it a try, doesn’t matter how hard it may sound.
Based on my experience following are some ways which can surely transform your life provided you are willing to try them with the best of your strength and will power. Why I am sure, because these have worked for such a dull-witted, insignificant and worthless person like me, so it will absolutely work for a person like you who is better and higher than me in many ways, so you must give it a try.
#1 - Do meditation.
Meditation is way of going inwards and to introspect about what’s going inside mind. On a daily basis our mind process approximately 40,000-50,000 thoughts in perfectly normal conditions free from stress and anxiety. It exceeds further in case of stressful conditions. Monitoring and keeping account of such a huge number of thoughts in itself is a fulltime job.
But in order to proceed on the path of positivity you need to assess the quality of your thoughts. Do a quality check every hour and determine what type of thoughts you are experiencing, are they negative, positive, useless or from past.
On doing this exercise you would find that majority of your thoughts are about past and future, you actually do not live in present and mainly either worrying about future or regretting/thinking about past actions. Actually, this is a root of negativity in life.
Your job is to pay attention to only positive thoughts arising in mind, the percentage of which might be minuscule but you need to be patient. This percentage would increase once you try below given ways.
#2 - Accept personal weakness.
Knowing and accepting personal weakness makes one stronger and helps you to go forth in direction which can help you to overcome it. Hiding your weakness makes you weaker from inside and you avoid facing situations which may have some threat of exposing you of your weak points, which means living constantly with a fear and negativity. Counter it by accepting and finding ways to improve upon.
#3 - Drop your ego.
This is the most dangerous demon hiding inside, a source of strong negativities in life. If you really want to enjoy positivity in life then do whatever it takes to tame your ego. Read a full post on ego here.
#4 - Follow a healthy routine.
If you live healthy, you can think healthy. So you must pay attention to your routine, how you are utilizing your day and how many activities you are undertaking which promises to bring certain amount of positivity. It is important to know if you are eating on time or skipping meals, keeping yourself fit and interacting socially.
#5 - Control your bad temper.
If you are a short tempered person, then you will find becoming positive a real tough challenge because anger is like a fire capable of turning your wisdom and intellect to ashes. If you are looking ways on how to overcome your anger then you must read full post on handling anger here.
#6 - Be selfless.
Making others feel more special than you helps you to curb your ego and makes you more thoughtful. It is indeed difficult for a person who is full of ego and wants to rule over others but you must practice this habit in your daily life in order to tame your ego.
#7 - Be fearless.
Address your fears in life. Pay a good amount of attention here. Read a full post here on "How to overcome fears?", to get started on this.
#8 - Eat healthy.
If you eat healthy you can think healthy. So pay attention to what you eat and how much you eat. Heavy food makes you lethargic while less spicy and greasy food keeps you active and affects your temperament as well.
#9 - Immerse yourself in reading.
Read inspirational books and biographies of positive people. Sometimes it happens that looking at situations and people from different perspective can literally change your thought process. Collect as many as perspectives for your tough situation of life from inspirational books written by people who lived exemplary life.
#10 - Stay away from negative people.
This is something I always mention; you must insulate yourself from negative people in your environment. Best would be to disconnect from them or have minimum possible interaction. Until you attain a level of positivity level which can beat the outside negativity, stay away from such people. It might be hard or impossible but for your own sake you need to take some strong steps.
Remaining positive in life is definitely a costly affair. At every attempt of maintaining personal positivity, you become vulnerable to gullibility present in the environment where everyone is thinking to possess more and more to uphold personal image and position. There might be certain instances where you would find yourself at a losing end but considering it as a cost of becoming a positive person, you must not stop and move on with your mission.
It is not impossible.
People who have suffered negativity in life actually know the value of what it really means to be positive.
Not with an idea to extol any particular religion, but Hinduism, the religion in which I am born and brought up, is basically not just a religion but a way of living a positive and healthy life. It is replete with ideas of living a positive life. Not going in details but one simple practice it encourages is, one should not accumulate much and should have only that much what one can consume. This is very simple to understand, because once you have accumulated much then you develop a fear of losing it and end up becoming a negative person, so it is better to have only that much which fulfills your basic needs and does not bring worry and tension of possessing and managing it.
If you are absolutely serious about your mission of becoming a positive person then day and night fill your mind with positive thoughts and take all possible steps to root out negative thoughts and situations in life. It is absolutely in your power to choose only those thoughts which make you feel positive and give you courage and strength to live a joyful and powerful life. So, do not hesitate if you have to make harder choices in life even if it means leaving behind something/somebody dear to you. Choose only positive people to stay or spend time with and decorate your environment with everything which takes you one step closer to the world of positivity.
Becoming a positive person is absolutely a personal choice, indeed a costly one but this life is really worth living only by making this costly choice. I believe, this is the only luxury one should choose and enjoy in life.
To make this world a beautiful place to live, you must become a fountain of positivity and let others also enjoy warmth and joy by being in your gracious presence.
Face your demons - Overcoming fears
Ego - The tameable enemy.
Bitterness– A toxic inside.
You are your Habits.